forever upset that this was not in the movie
Goddamn these books are gold mines
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
so is it a thing in (american) english to use “texas” as a word for like, something that’s out of control or chaotic, or as like, “crazy”? like “that party last weekend was totally texas!”
because that is a thing people say in norwegian and i just think it’s important for americans to know that?
this is the best thing I’ve ever heard
Ellen is just the greatest person alive.
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
Dogs are always happy
does this really look happy to you
it’s like the tongue forgot to turn when the head did
when someone stops talking to you and youre not sure what you did wrong
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
update: I banged him
when you write a sentence and it rhymes
why does the picture make perfect sense
Imagine though when you find your soul mate and the happens
this is one of the most beautiful gifs I’ve seen.
No but imagine the school jock and the nerd he beats up every day finally run into each other in the locker room or at a pool or something and their chest start glowing and they both look at each other and just go “Oh fuck no.”
It was always the same every day…
The guy would come to beat me up over a tiny, stupid whim.
I wish my day would change from that.
"Ready for another lesson??"
"Y-Your chest it—"
"That means we’re—-"
I ASKED FOR A CHANGE, BUT THIS IS NOT WAS I WAS LOOKING FOR.
LMFAO welp this is how I imagined it. ENJOY
I want to read a fan fiction of this.
"I already saw that on Tumblr."-literally everything (via beccaliving)
This Kid Is Going Places
Me as a father.
god damn baby assassin. He’s probably gonna be doing parkour at like 4 and become a marine by 9